Sobering Truths
by Sunnydalesis
Summary: Buffy and Spike bond together at the backseat of the Desoto and find some truths at the bottom of a bottle of Jack Daniels whiskey. Rewrite of Lovers Walk and goes AU from that point on. Rated PG-13 for underaged drinking,


This plot bunny came charging into my head when I rewatched Lover's Walk. I got tired of the Bangel drama and wrote this fic out of my frustrations.

Much thanks to Sigyn for helping me out with this one-shot!

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

Buffy rushed in as quickly as she could. She pushed aside horrific images of finding her mother's body lying on the kitchen floor with bite marks on her neck as she entered the kitchen and found…

Spike crying on the kitchen counter while her mother patted his shoulders.

"What are you doing here?" Buffy asked. "Where's Willow and Xander?"

"Buffy, that's not polite!" Joyce said firmly. "Spike's just distraught because his girlfriend broke up with him."

"He's got my friends somewhere."

"They're in the factory," Spike cried. "I wanted Red to do a soddin' love spell."

"A spell?" Joyce asked. "Willow's a witch?"

"Um...she wants to be," Buffy said. "But um.."

It was so strange seeing the usual cocky vampire she knew sobbing like...like his undead heart was actually broken. The usual Watcher mantra of "vampires can't love" stood in stark contrast to what she saw in front of her.

Buffy took a breath to calm herself down. "Spike?"

"What?"

"If you help me get my friends back...I can help you out. If you want."

"It's your sodding fault she dumped me!" Spike cried. He almost jumped at the Slayer and Buffy grabbed a wooden spoon, but Joyce came between them.

"Stop it! Right now!" Joyce said. "Both of you!"

"But Mom-" Buffy said.

"No buts, Buffy," Joyce said. "And Spike, I know that you blame Buffy for what happened between you and Drusilla, but I'm not gonna let you lay a hand on my daughter." She sat them down on the stools and then sat between them. "Now, I'm gonna make some extra hot chocolate. We're going to talk things out. After that, Buffy, you can go get Willow and Xander. And Spike? I know that you're drunk, but you oughta know that you can catch more flies with honey instead of kidnapping."

Buffy and Spike glared at each other and turned to look at the counter while Joyce prepared hot chocolate for all three of them.

"Was it the truce?" Buffy asked, breaking the awkward silence between them.

"Yeah," Spike said flatly. "She basically said I was covered in you."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Spike slumped onto the counter, staring at the mug in front of him. "No sodding clue."

"Do you really think a love spell's gonna help?" Joyce asked.

"Mom's right," Buffy said. "Last time Xander tried doing a love spell, things did not go so well."

"I don't know what else to do. I loved her more than the stars and the moon. Our love was eternal."

Buffy sighed. "Yeah, well, love isn't exactly a warm hugs and puppies," she said, thinking of Angel. "There is never an arrival to happily ever after. Every ounce of comfort loves brings you brings an equal challenge with it."

"You know I can hear you, Buffy," Joyce said. "I can't believe you would think something like that."

Buffy looked up in shock. "But you and dad-"

"We grew apart, Buffy." Her mother's tone was strong and assertive. "I really wanted to make things work, but your father wanted to give up. In spite of what happened, though, I hold out hope that I will share the rest of my life with someone."

She placed three mugs on the counter. Spike's mug was loaded with marshmallows. Buffy grabbed the mug with the nice yellow flower pattern.

After swallowing a small gulp, Buffy said, "I always thought that…"

"Buffy, you being the Slayer had nothing to do with what happened between me and your father," Joyce said as she sat down between Buffy and Spike again. "If anything, I blamed myself for not being there for you enough."

"I just don't know, Mom. For some reason, I just always think that love has to go hand in hand with pain and fighting."

Spike snorted, trying to hide his laugh. "Angelus got you good, didn't he?"

Buffy scoffed. But not wanting to tell her mom about Angel being back, Buffy curled her hands around the mug. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"I don't know how he acted with a soul, but back in the day, he loved torturing Dru as a way of turning her on. Maybe I should try doing that… once I sober up."

Joyce turned to look at Spike. "Do you really want to? Do you really think she'll love you again if you act like that... that monster? I mean, you're not him, right? Shouldn't she love you and not you trying to be someone you aren't?"

"I don't know what else to do," Spike said as tears streamed down his face. "I just want the pain in my heart to be gone."

Buffy sighed as Spike let out a loud sob. "I know how that feels."

"Bollocks! You and Angelus were just child's play compared to what Dru and I had."

"Hey, Angel never cheated on me with anyone else!"

"He slept with Dru often enough."

"He didn't have a soul-" Buffy tensed up but her mother held her back. Joyce looked to Spike and gave him a look that made him sit back.

Turning to Buffy she said, "Buffy, I never trusted Angel. I understand that he's a vampire and that you loved him, but it's like I said before. You really rushed things with him. I'm not surprised that he slept with Spike's girlfriend after things got bad between you two. Now if you guys are done with your hot chocolates, I think you can go get Willow and Xander from the factory. But Buffy, you have to promise me that you won't stake Spike."

Buffy gasped in shock. "Mom!"

"Unless he really wants to kill you or any of your friends," Joyce qualified. "If he helped you before in...whatever battle of evil you had to do last time, then you owe him a little respect." Turning to Spike, she said, "Spike, I understand that you're distraught. But you have to process the pain. Don't harm my daughter or my friends or I will find you and dust you myself. I still know where to find that fire axe."

"Cross my undead heart, ma'am," Spike said.

By the time that Buffy and Spike arrived at the factory, they found Cordelia and Oz pulling up in the van.

"How did you guys know to come here?" Buffy asked.

"Oz has werewolf senses that can track Willow," Cordelia said. Buffy's eyes went as wide as saucers, which made the head cheerleader go, "Yeah, I'm creeped out too. By the way, why is the Billy Idol wannabe here?"

Before Spike could react, Buffy held up her hand to stop him. "Spike kidnapped them."

Cordelia and Oz's hackles went up. Spike held his hands up defensively. "They're perfectly alright. Aside from me knocking out the Whelp…" He went quiet after a glare from Buffy and Cordelia. Oz growled.

The five of them went into the factory and found Willow and Xander in the middle of a passionate kiss. Cordelia ran as fast as she could up to stairs, only for Buffy to stop her before falling down as the stairs collapsed.

"How do we get outta here?" Cordelia asked. "I need to get out of here."

"Calm down, Cordelia," Buffy said. "Breathe."

Xander moved closer, but Cordy shouted, "Stay away from me!"

Oz and Buffy came between the two of them. Xander held Willow in his arms, keeping her away from Spike.

"Spike, is there another way out of here?" Buffy asked.

"There's a way out through the sewers," Spike said.

"Lead the way. I'll be right behind you."

The walk through the sewers was awkward. Xander asked Buffy about why she isn't staking Spike, but she shot down his question quickly. "I'll get him to leave town, okay? He doesn't want to kill me or any of you."

After that, it was about five long minutes of awkward silence before they all made it out of the sewer entrance that was in front of the factory. Cordelia left with Oz in his van, crying all the way home, while Willow and Xander decided to leave for home.

"Are you coming with us?" Willow asked.

"Someone's gotta make sure Spike leaves town without killing anyone," Buffy said.

Willow nodded confusedly and then left with Xander.

Once everyone was gone, Buffy turned to look at Spike. "Do you know where your car is?" she asked.

"Probably," he said.

The two of them walked in silence. Buffy kept herself a few paces behind, but Spike turned to look back as Buffy shoved her hands into her pockets.

"Penny for your thoughts, Slayer?" Spike said.

"I just don't understand," Buffy said, more to herself than to Spike. "Why didn't I see it? I could've helped them."

They found Spike's car right outside of the Welcome to Sunnydale sign, which was flat on the ground with the car on top of it. Spike opened up the backseat and cleaned some things out. He held up a half empty bottle of Jack Daniels. "You look like you could use a drink."

Buffy cringed. "I'm not so sure."

"Come on, just a swig," Spike said as he slid inside the car "I'm not gonna get you smashed. You've got stuff on your mind, Jack will listen."

The blonde slayer sighed and grabbed the bottle. She sat down next to Spike, took the cap off, and drank down a gulp before groaning in disgust. "Oh God, it's like fire."

"That's the beauty of it." He took the bottle out of her hands and took a swig.

Buffy sighed. "I honestly don't get it, Spike. I know that Willow wanted Xander, and if they weren't in other relationships, I'd be happy for them, but as it stands…"

"As it stands, things have gone pear shaped for your mates." He stretched out and rested his head on Buffy's shoulders, forgetting that she could kill him if she wanted to. "It's all part of life, Slayer. Love isn't brains, after all. It's blood. Blood screaming inside you to work its will."

Buffy cringed. She pushed Spike so that he leaned over to the other side. "You got that right," she said as she grabbed the bottle out of his hand and took another swig.

"You probably already know Angel is back, right?" Spike asked. "I saw him in the mansion earlier. Surprised he wasn't lurking about around your house. He used to do that, you know."

"I know," Buffy said. "He told me last year that he lurked. I never thought anything about it until now. But it's no big deal."

Spike laughed. "Yeah right! I know that look on your face. You still want him, don't you?"

Buffy huffed. "No. We're just friends now."

Spike leaned in uncomfortably close to her. Buffy leaned as far back as she could without opening the car door. "You're not friends," he said. She could smell the alcohol and tobacco on his breath. "You'll never be friends. You'll be in love till it kills you both. You'll fight, you'll shag, you'll hate each other till it makes you quiver, but you'll never be friends."

"Speaking from experience?" Buffy said with a breathy voice.

"Damn right." He rested his head on her lap and said, "I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it."

Spike sighed as he downed the rest of the bottle. Buffy lifted him off of her lap. "Okay, Spike, enough of the touchy feely stuff. You gotta get outta here."

"I'll leave as soon as you're out the door," Spike said.

"You'd better or I'll let the sunlight do my work for me," Buffy said. She unlocked the door and scooted out, only to feel Spike's arm wrap around her. Not really knowing what she was doing, she turned around and hugged him. "Spike, I hope this is just the alcohol talking...but thank you."

"Anytime, luv." Spike's lips were pursed, practically begging for a kiss, but Buffy knew she had to get out before she did something she'd probably regret. In a matter of minutes, Spike got into his car and drove off, surprisingly well for someone with the blood alcohol level he probably had.

As the Desoto left Buffy in its dust, the blonde Slayer walked home with a lot on her mind.

"Spike was right," Buffy said to herself. "I can fool Giles, I can fool my friends, but I can't fool myself. What I want from Angel, I can never have. But how the hell can Spike understand that? Why him?"

Unfortunately, the answer wouldn't come anytime soon. When she passed by the Magic Shop, she saw a band of vampires raiding the store. In spite of her being less than sober, she took out the stake from her jacket and went straight to work.

###

The next time that Buffy saw Angel, he was lurking around her front lawn. She sensed him as she was putting up Christmas decorations. Making the excuse that she needed to hang the lights, she went outside while her mom went to the basement to get more decorations.

"What do you want?" Buffy asked.

"I haven't seen you in a while," he said. "What's going on?"

Buffy stood firmly at the doorpost and crossed her arms. "Angel, I can't see you anymore. And I don't want you lurking around either. We're not good for each other and we can't be friends."

"What are you saying?" Angel asked.

"Leave. Get out of Sunnydale. You have no reason to stay here."

Angel insisted on following Buffy inside, but she heard her mom going up from the basement. Using her slayer strength, she pushed Angel off the porch and shoved him out into the street. "Go or I'll make sure you're gone!" Buffy declared coldly.

The last she heard of Angel, he went off to Los Angeles around Christmastime. Buffy was glad to share her holiday with Faith as well as her mother. Faith was uber-happy that Angel was finally gone.

The two Slayers formed a strong friendship after Buffy confided in Faith about what made Angel leave. Although Faith only knew of the infamous Slayer of Slayers, she was surprised that the bleach blonde vampire decided on going back to his insane vampire girlfriend. Buffy's eyes took on a faraway look whenever she talked of Spike and Faith couldn't help but wonder why.

Unfortunately, the life of a Slayer didn't give either girl much time for contemplation, especially with both of them going through the Cruciamentum and finding out about the Mayor's plan to ascend into full-fledged demonhood. Using Faith as a spy on the inside, Buffy and the other Scoobies were able to thwart the Mayor's plans and prevent him from ascending. Instead, Willow used magic to turn the Mayor into stone, creating a statue of him that stood in front of the school during graduation.

Although both Slayers were free from the Council's iron grip, Faith felt a wanderlust and decided to travel the country helping out those in need. Xander decided to go with her, since he wasn't college bound and wanted to figure out what to do with his life. Buffy wasn't surprised that the two of them developed an odd, endearing kind of bond, given that they went to prom together.

Sadly, however, love seemed to elude Buffy as she transitioned into college. Willow and Oz were never able to work things out, but Willow started seeing this girl Tara from her Wicca group early in the year. Buffy thought that she found a potential boyfriend in Parker, only to find out that she was just another notch on his bedpost.

So on a lonely November evening, Buffy found herself drowning her sorrows at Willy's bar after a long night of patrolling. To her surprise, a familiar face sat down at the stool next to her.

"Long night?" Spike asked.

"What are you doing here?" Buffy asked, her voice slurred. "Dru still screwing chaos demons?"

Spike sighed. "Among other things."

"What do you want? Please don't say you want to fight cuz I don't wanna." Buffy's whine turned into a sob and she clung to Spike, grabbing the lapels of his black duster. "What's wrong with me, Spike?"

"Pardon?"

"I mean, you have no soul, right? You told me that you were so damn in love with Dru, so what's wrong with me? I mean, I sleep with Angel, he loses his soul, and suddenly I'm just chopped liver? Then stupid Parker hooks me with this line about seizing the day and now I'm just sloppy seconds? Am I even capable of having love at all or does it all just go away in the end? What is wrong with me?!"

The bar patrons turned to look at the sobbing Slayer. Willy gave Spike a look and the bleach blonde vampire escorted Buffy outside. "Come on, luv. I got a bottle of Jack with your name on it."

###

Buffy sighed as she slumped into the backseat of Spike's car. The scent of whiskey and tobacco was somewhat relaxing. Buffy downed a huge gulp of Jack Daniels and rested her head on Spike's shoulder. "Just hold me, alright?" Buffy asked. "No biting or clawing. I just want to sleep this off…"

Spike sighed as Buffy fell asleep on his shoulder. He brushed aside a bit of her hair so that he could see her face. Holding her carefully, he whispered, "I honestly don't know what brought me back, luv. Dru's probably right. I am covered in you. I couldn't stop thinking about you for months on end. You should know, luv, there's nothing wrong with you. Angelus never loved anyone except for himself and I bet the same can be said about that Parker pillock. They're all wankers."

He placed a soft kiss on her forehead. "I got a surprise for you, luv. But we'll wait until sunrise. Just sleep for now, sweet girl."

He leaned against her and wrapped an arm around her waist, falling asleep beside her.

###

The next morning Buffy woke up. She was surprised to find Spike slumped against her shoulders. A patch of sunlight bathed Spike's face, but there was no fire combusting or vampire dusting.

"Spike?" Buffy asked as she woke up.

"Oh! Um, morning slayer."

"You've got a little sun on your face. And you're not dusting. What's going on?"

Spike scratched his neck nervously. "Well, on my way back to Rio, I heard rumors about the Gem of Amara being located here. Gem of Amara allows a vampire to be immune to sunlight, stakes, holy water and the like. I came back here after months of researching and found it along with a huge treasure." He held up his hand, showing off the green gem that sparkled from his left ring finger.

"So...why aren't you taking advantage of, um, your advantage. I thought you wanted to kill me."

Spike shook his head. "Don't want to anymore."

He opened the car door and held his hand out to help her out of the car. Buffy had to admit he looked particularly handsome, standing out in broad daylight.

The next thing she knew, she felt an arm wrapped around her waist and his hand holding her head as he leaned in for a kiss. Taking a gasp, Buffy allowed herself to be lost in the moment, holding Spike as close to her as she could. Once again, she felt like she was tasting fire, but she loved it.

As they let go, Buffy allowed herself to breathe before saying, "You want me?"

"I came back, didn't I?" Spike asked.

"I didn't ask you to," she said.

"Well, what can we do about that?"

Buffy blushed. Then she cupped Spike's face and kissed him again.

Neither of them were certain where things would go from there, but what Buffy and Spike did know was that love came back for both of them, in a bizarre yet wonderful way.

* * *

And yes, ladies and gentlemen, I am once again gonna leave things open-ended.

Please like and review!


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